Just Believe.

seen and experienced alot within a span of a couple of days.
there were the positive ones, and then there were the really negative ones.

it's amazing how a single event, being observed by different individuals, would yield different results and perspectives.
glaring differences.

while talking about areas of improvements, i believe that there is a limit to how one should nitpick and the usage of strong languages should be avoided whenever possible. encouragements and helpful suggestions will result in the will to improve. nitpicking, accusations and ridiculous remarks will result in setbacks and fears.
this is something i should always remember whether i am a teacher or not.
learn from the mistakes of others. hmm.

to say that i'm no longer affected would be lying.
i am.
i am terribly affected because it pierced right through my heart and scarred me.
i got afraid, i lost all confidence, and was real depressed.

for a brief moment,
i felt like i should be giving my career path some thoughts again.

but while there are devils, there will always be angels around as well.
and angels came in the form of ... them.
i am thankful for the trust they have placed in me, and for the positive feedbacks i've been given since Day 1.
they lifted my spirits, as well as my level of confidence.
it was necessary.

the chapter is still open.
and while i am at it, i'll just remind myself to thread carefully, and be mindful of not making the same mistakes.
-
here's something more positive to offset the negativity up there.

you should have seen it on twitter/fb somehow,
that yesterday i finally witnessed my P2 boy, who is autistic, speaking to me in a complete sentence. not once! but twice! (:

to say that i was happy would be an understatement.
i was overjoyed. i was touched. and i sensed hope.

on day 1, i found out that he's mildly autistic, and i'd say... a lil of OCD.
but he's cute! with longggg lashes that i am real envious of.

during the first week, i tried walking past him and speaking to him.
i was ignored.

on the second week, i tried again.
this time round, i squatted next to him and spoke to him.
i got nods. well, at least, there were acknowledgements.

at the beginning of this week, i started teaching the class officially.
once again, i tried.
i interacted intentionally, i asked if he needed help with the copying.
to make sure that he understood what i was saying, i took his pencil, and asked again.
this time, i was awarded with mumblings of a few words.
i smiled (:

yesterday,
i tried my luck again.
during lesson, i was letting them copy down notes.
i saw that he was not copying anything. so i asked if he needed help again.
and that was when i heard the sweetest words, "you freeze (the projector), then lend me the book."
i wanted to cry, because it sounded absolutely melodious.
that was once.

class has ended, and there were only a couple of boys left in the classroom.
he was packing, well, the last to leave as usual.
so i asked questions again, and asked if he will be picked up by someone after school.
then i heard it again. "i am taking the schoolbus."
just 5 words! but it meant a whole lot to me.
and that, was the 2nd time.

you know what?
i think miracles do happen,
when you believe, hope, and have the determination to make it happen.
being patient really pays.

and because of this,
there is absolutely no need to rethink my career path as of now.
i want to teach.
certainly.